Back to Basics (Editorial)

By Charles M. Sakai

 

  The time has come to review the guidelines which govern the conduct of over 1,000 DBSA support groups in all 50 states, based on my training (both on the local and national level) and experience.  We remind our groups that these principles are not set in stone—they’re the distillation of our collective knowledge.

 

Basic DBSA Group Guidelines

 

Share the air.  One of the cornerstones of a peer support group is that everyone is treated as an equal, and has a right to be heard.  We are not a theater for drama queens!  Individuals may be allowed to vent every now and then, with the understanding that this is not our main function.

 

It’s OK not to share.  You may remain silent, if you wish, and no one should pressure you to talk against your will.  Many people who say very little during our meetings later show that they have learned and benefited from attending, and that is enough.

 

Confidentiality:  What is said here and who we see here stays here.  Although we don’t have the same privileged confidentiality as lawyers, physicians, or members of the clergy, nevertheless, for our concept to work, we expect each person to avoid blabbing about what we discussed out of group, talk about anyone who is not present to defend him– or herself, or identify anyone as a member of the depression and bipolar support group to outsiders, unless they agree to it.

 

Courtesy, kindness, and support.  One of the coping skills we practice in support group meetings is mutual respect.  To maintain our helpful and civilized atmosphere we treat others as we would want to be treated, avoid interruptions and side conversations, and refrain from being judgmental.

 

Differences of opinion are OK.  Since our people come from all walks of life, embrace different faiths, and represent every imaginable point of the political spectrum, we will simply take the position that we all have the right to our own point-of-view, without imposing our own opinions on others.  For example, we can discuss the therapeutic value of spirituality in general (a subject neglected by many psychiatrists and therapists) without advertising a specific church or religion.

 

Use “I” language.  We are not professional psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists, and we can’t diagnose other members of the group or offer medical advice,  although we can recommend that an individual seek qualified medical attention if needed.  In short, we avoid “you should…” statements.  Our value to the support group is based on our own personal experience, and discussions should reflect that fact.

We are all equal.  Too long have we been left out of other people’s circles; now that we have a circle of our own, we set the example for inclusiveness.  DBSA welcomes everyone who is affected by a mood disorder (along with friends or family members interested in learning more about depression and bipolar disorder) without regard to race, religion, social status, sexual orientation, or any other artificial means of classifying people.  However, we do allow the formation of specialty groups, if its members feel comfortable with one another and have problems that are unique to them.  For example, our women’s group is thriving and steadily growing, while other specialty groups exist for young adults and seniors.  Eventually we expect to add GLBT, African American, Asian, and Spanish speakers’ groups as our chapter continues to grow.

 

Attendance.  Being punctual and starting meetings on time I regard as part of being respectful.  But we are aware that other commitments, problems with transportation, or weather may delay your arrival—in such instances, it’s better to arrive 30 minutes late and receive some benefit out of the meeting than not to show up at all.  For some, just getting out of bed and leaving the house is an accomplishment, so you deserve a warm welcome for being there.  All we ask of those who arrive late or leave early is that you do so quietly and discreetly, without being disruptive.

 

It’s everyone’s responsibility to make the discussion group a safe place to share.   This involves more than physical security, although once in a while facilitators may have to call 911 to remove someone who disturbs the peace or is a threat to himself or others.  As a peer-led organization, we seek to create an atmosphere that gives our people a sense of empowerment, where members lend each other a helping hand, and where we listen and learn from one another.  Another way of creating a secure atmosphere is to keep our language clean, and not just because some people may take offense and stop coming to our support groups.  There is also the nagging fact that heated discussions involving profanity are more likely to spin out of control and end up as violent altercations.   Fortunately, most of the people who come to our support groups on a regular basis catch this vision.

 

  Let me emphasize that only the paragraph headings in boldface italics represent official DBSA policy, and that the rest of what you read on this page are based on my observations.  Sadly, we cannot save everyone who comes to us, but we have informed, uplifted, and provided hope to many people who deal with us on a regular basis—for them, we are a lifeline. 

 

  To every person who has benefited from our programs, we extend a standing invitation to become a facilitator.  Not everyone can handle the responsibility, since it’s a delicate balancing act, but for those who can, it is a fun and satisfying way of performing public service.